Keith Kumasen Abbott - The utmost protagonist of protagonists. He's zen, he's dead and he's on a mission.
John Veglia - Keith's long deceased poet friend who knew everyone there was ever to know. Even in the afterlife and, because he was a Classical scholar, he always has a leg up.
Michael Sowl - Like Keith and John, Mike didn't become a famous poet, but that never stopped him since he enjoys figuring things out. This contagious activity is Mike's form of joie de vivre.
Persephone Abbott is following her father's footsteps.
The Spiritual Predators - local Longmont band with band members Bret, Sleepy Sam, Mooney and Liam. The guys write and create the songs they perform which include "Goose Shit Park", "A Separate Transmission" and "Six Perfections, Five Beers." But then they are restricted by someone's ex wife who has been misled by a disenchanted and excommunicated Mormon.
Rhino Ritz Detective Agency, as featured in Rhino Ritz, An American Mystery Novel by Keith Abbott
"Ernest Hemingway had his Temptation while he was thinking about the huge, beautiful English Department building and why it was so white and perfect while the American Literature building was so small and dingy."
"Gertrude Stein was writing. She was writing very long sentences and very short sentences. They mostly had the same words in them whether they were long or short, Except sometimes they didn't. Sometimes a strange new word would show up and then she would be delighted. Many of them were clear and many of them were clear for a long time."
"Sherwood Anderson slowly watched the two men frizz out into thin air."
"F. Scott Fitzgerald followed the wall around, inspecting the perfectly stuffed and tanned books that were mounted on it. A really amazing job had been done on them: you could hardly tell where the harpoon had gone through, even on the leather bound volumes."
"Smitty was a little romantic about his truck, but why not?"
The Boulder-Longmont Collective
Tirzah Pyrestone - Generator of crypto-trauma coin and pollinator of collective grief. Author of this quote (a gem): "We all, as all our own ancestors, played bingo long before we were born. It's not worth our time to continue to stay tense and gloomy while waiting for the cash to roll in. Get out there and proudly mark your card, claim your stuffed animal and, at the same time, recognize the trauma that made you who you are." She's also an Uber driver: ask for TirzOrcle.
Teary Filisteinsdatter Mast - A pseudo-Christian woman but in fact she's a Jewwannabe, drooling over nuns in habits, daydreaming about raising reindeer in the Artic as part of her chosen tribe, and hoping to end up as globally revered as Guang Yin. Owner of Whelping Wellness. Heads up: Teary plays the victim like a pro.
John Steinbeck - John is finding himself in very poor company right here and feels out of sorts. He's avoiding this novel even though everyone feels he ought to make an appearance at some point.
Rabbi Dinah Mifferet Lakein - For a price, the ordained will say anything in public. Call for a quote: 303-433-4567
Gator Matcha - Inspirational beverage on the menu at Bucket Seats & Love Potions (Fort Wayne, Indiana) modeled on the profile of the writer-pyschologist who survived the Holocaust. But, in fiction, the senior citizen won't survive Longmont.
Dan Zztkanit, aka Goody Got Two Shoes, falls just a little short when cutting the ultimate deal in naturalistic funeral arrangements (as opposited to the traditionally contrived abusive practices that he excels at imitating), and, in a desperate move, this ego inflated and unethical businessman sells forgiveness plans for you and your deceased acquaintances to falsely resolve your differences online (warning: read the fine print = nothing guaranteed which actually is the ultimate goal of a funeral director). Partner in crime: Police Dog Meth T. who is a consistant contributor to Yelp.
The PoA - Self-fashioned spiritual leader and short-sighted Cassandra. Insanely jealous of the Nixpert.
The Nixpert - A corrupt academic researcher who sells fake identities to Pyrestone and Mifferet Lakein. Name her price and she'll provide verification of whatever background your heart desires!
Candace and Hope - Two crusaders aiming to protect ghosts from obstracisation and obliteration.
El-Don Mast - a man in a middle aged crisis who is thinking deeply into starting a business of his own. Will it fly?
Sisters Zelda Mast (married to a man who is The Not-Clued-In) and Flora Mast (married to a man who is The Unknown). But they are married, so they say, or are they? Do they know what true love is? Watch out because Flora is defintely going to find out!
Buck Rogers - a hard drinking philanthropist and rancher with a writing retreat on his Rimbaud Ranch. Buck enjoys fire arms and seances. Mrs. Buck goes along with the flow.
Lolly - a solid Christian man living off the grid and collector of art who can't accept reality until he finds himself in actual surreality.
The Three Dynamic Young Ladies of Longmont Colorado
Mila Gutierrez - daughter of Lorenzo, owner of Longmont's A2Z auto repairs
Emery Noel - daughter of Mormon bishop and town sheriff
Blessing Alexander - daughter of "Not-Going-to-Spoil-the-Surprise"
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