Chapter Thirty

Where in the world is she going?

Mila held her phone in her hand. Blessing was staring at the phone intently. They were following the tracking device Mila had installed in the Subaru.

"What's up there?" Blessing asked

Mila thought about the matter for a moment "If you ask me, she's going to the Benedictine Abby."

Mila had a cousin who often made deliveries to the convent. If Teary Mast was as bonkers about religious callings as Mila suspected, then TFM was headed to the convent. But what was Teary going to do at the convent? She couldn't be that involved because whatever she was doing up at the convent would take away time from her other religious activities in the synagoge, the church and whatever that steam tent business was about.

"Tia," Mila called out to Aunt Carmen. "Can you, like, be a volunteer for the Benedictine Abby up by Virginia Dale? Or do you have to be a nun?"

Aunt Carmen stopped chopping bell peppers. She was preparing her kids' lunches for the week. She looked at her niece. Mila had never been interested in religion.

"It's not for me," Mila said, reading her aunt's mind.

"Well, they have an oblate program."

"What's that?"

"You promise to pray seven times a day and follow the word of St. Benedictine. But no, you don't have to become a nun."

 Juanito was going to turn one year old in the spring. Carmen didn't think he needed a sibling any time soon. Repression never helped to temper hormones.

Carmen changed the subject. "Did you girls finish booking the receipts?"

Blessing nodded.

"Did you match them up with the bank transactions?"

"Yes." Blessing said.

"Then let's look at the sales tax."

Mila was bored, but Blessing was interested in checking the ledger columns.

"Isn't that illegal? Putting a tracking device in the crazy lady's car?" Blessing asked Mila as they got into Mila's car after Carmen released them from the bookkeeping session.

"Yeah," Mila said. "But she's due for an oil change next week. I'll take it out." 

"Don't you think we should tell someone?" Blessing asked. "Or maybe write her a letter asking her to stop writing those letters?"

"She doesn't think she's going to get caught." Mila said. "And she's not going to like it if she knows someone is watching her."

"What are you going to do?"

"Even if she gets arrested for something, she probably won't stop." Mila said sourly. "Unless she's stuck in jail." 

"Or dead," Blessing said. "Hey, maybe Nolan has an idea. He can hack into anything."

"You can't mention this to Nolan," Mila said. "It's just between us, like the money. You still have the money, right?"

"Of course!" Blessing said.

"You guys are using birth control, right?" Mila asked. "If you need to know anything or go anywhere for whatever, you can ask me, okay? Don't be shy, sister."

Keith and John Veglia, aka Nestor Marzipan, were sitting in the Plymouth Fury passing a joint between them.

"You know what the great thing about being dead is?" John asked.

"I could come up with a list," Keith said.

"Reason Number One: you don't have to follow the road," John said, looking out at the forest shrubbery. "Do you think Persephone will rewrite the missing novel?"

"Mr. Inbetween?" Keith asked. 

"Yeah."  John took a hit.

Keith didn't answer.

"Was it really inspired by Richard Brautigan?" John asked.

Keith was silent. 

"Hey, did you see that?" John said.

"That shadow?" Keith said. He took a hit.

"Looks like Big Foot." 

"Well, let's not invite him to the party," Keith said. He'd had enough of partying with Rhino Ritz.  Keith was enjoying a quiet moment in the forest smoking weed and thinking about various and unrelated things. No way of telling what Big Foot would bring to the table in terms of conversation. 

"You heard about that Gator guy turning into cardboard?" Keith said, his voice mild.

"No," John said.

"Imagine, entering eternity as a carboard cutout," Keith's voice gave no indication of his sentiments.

"Could happen to the best of us," John said.

"I don't want to become a cardboard cutout," Keith finally said.

"Then Persephone is doing you proud." 

"All those old receipts," Keith said.

"Stirring wind taxing return....." John added.

"Home-coming rainclouds," Keith finished the haiku.

The rain began to descend. 

"So my friend, ready to get back to the garage?" John asked. He put his hands on the wheel. 

Emily Noel was still upset.  She twisted the silicon mold, trying to shake two of the frozen squares out of their slots. It was just Emery and her at home for dinner that night. After the trip to Target failed to sway Emery to change her image, Emily was considering her options.  She needed to make a call on Blessing's mother, that was for sure. What else did she need to do? 

Emily threw the frozen food squares onto the plates on the counter.  She stuck one plate in the microwave. Then she tapped her finger nails on the counter top. 

She needed to check on Candace.  Emery had been talking a little too much to Candace lately. And there had been nothing about these conversations in Emery's diary. But there had been that entry about the funeral. 

Today Dr. Bob was reunited with his ancestors. I'm sure we will all miss him, but when I think about all the good things he did for people, I know he's sealed for eternity. The funeral was kind of different because maybe his predeceased ancestors showed up to the luncheon to meet him and take him to heaven because during the luncheon, Josh and Gavin pulled out their guns and threatened to shoot the ghosts -- but they only shot up the poster for the ward's Easter picnic and the flower arrangement on the pedestal.  And it's not like Josh and Gavin do this all the time. This was the first time I ever saw anyone try to shoot a ghost, I didn't see the ghosts, but Meghan and Lyana said they saw something.  And Meghan and Lyana and Josh and Gavin are the most unimaginative people I know. 

Emily didn't like the idea of malicious spirits at all.  She picked up her phone and started scrolling as she waited for the food to heat up. 

"Do you need to have that last word with a loved one?" a voice from Emily's phone said. 

Emery walked into the kitchen. 

"Why not forgive them and ease your mind? It's not too late. Just call 720 515 1234 and let us set you up with our forgiveness plan. Only $14.99 per month to speak to your deceased family member and express any regrets. Customer satisfaction guaranteed or we'll give you your money back. So why not call now? 720 515 1234 and we can set you up."

Emery wrinkled her nose. "He sounds like that guy from S' Natch Funeral."

Emily looked carefully at her phone. "You're right. It is them."

"But wait!" the phone continued, "Do you need to hear your family member apologize to you? Had you been waiting for them to seek forgiveness for their poorly judged actions and they never did? Then call 720 515 2344 and we can arrange for the abuser in your life to finally clear out a lifetime of criminal behavior and ask for your forgiveness. Only $37.99 per month to hear a relative from the other side verbalize their specific request for you to forgive all their transgressions. Even murder."

"You mean you can pay to talk to the dead on the phone?" Emery asked.

Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mind was reeling.

"Undecided? Then try our best deal! A two-way communication package for just under one hundred dollars a month! For $99.99 you can chat with your deceased loved ones and totally clear the air. Unlimited minutes, excluding state taxes and special requests."

"What if the dead people claim that they didn't become Mormon, like, after the soul conversion ceremony?" Emery asked.

"Emery!" Emily exclaimed. "You know as well as I do that as true believers, we know that all other beliefs are the deeds of Satan. We will never set foot again in that place."

"I'm a hundred percent with you on that, Mom," Emery said calmly, curious about her mother's algorithm. "What are we eating?"

"Leftovers. Potatoes and chicken parmesean," Emily said. "From Dr. Bob's send off. Boy, am I glad that ended early."

Emery paused, her fork in mid air.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

                                                                                     Coming soon - Chapter Thirty-One

#longmont #colorado   #johnveglia #keithkumasenabbott #keithabbott #mormonpotatoes #bigfoot #speakingwiththedead #ghoststory 

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